I know you all are dying to know who picked the short straw this week and got to spend the last four days fighting a cold. Well, thanks to a toddler with croup coughing in my face all last week, I am the winner! Gooooo me! Yea!

I can’t remember the last time I had use of my left nostril, and I am really beginning to miss it. It has decided to completely shut down due to pressure in my sinuses. If I could somehow punish it and send it to time out I would, but that method only seems to work with whiny kids, and even then, not that well.

So I am left to just tough it out. I wish this was a week I could slow down, but in all honesty, slowing down just really isn’t something I am capable of. It stresses me out more because I lie there thinking of all the things I NEED to be doing. For example, my parents took Edie to Auburn this weekend, and instead of spending a child-free weekend relaxing, we are painting Edie’s room in preparation for the baby. (Her room is technically still the nursery, so we’ve got to move everything around.)

I guess the silver lining in all of this is that I won’t be able to smell the paint fumes or maybe that will do the trick to revive the nostril that has given up the fight. One can hope, right?

Ever since our trip to the beach, we just cannot get well in our house. Every week we have had a new ailment that has affected someone. This week being no exception.

Over the past three years, I have observed that ever since Edie blessed our little family with her existence, we have had some bug, sniffle, or illness. My theory is that it has something to do with the fact that I am constantly telling her to get her finger out of her nose or maybe that one time I caught her chewing on her shoe strings. My point is she is germ infested, and no matter how much I disinfect and scrub her from top to bottom, we still have weeks on end of different symptoms coming and going in our house.

So that is where I have been lately. I spent a good week laying around like a slug trying to keep food down, and then the next couple of weeks playing catch up and nursing my sick family back to health.

We are not out of the woods yet. In fact, in about an hour, I’ve got a doctor’s appointment for Edie who woke up wheezing last night, but I felt that if I didn’t touch base with some of you, I might start getting some phone calls wondering if we had been abducted by aliens. Rest assured, we haven’t.

There are very few things I hate more in this world than stomach viruses. However, there IS one thing that can top the misery of a plain stomach virus and that is one while you’re on vacation.

Our last night at the beach, Edie woke me up around 2:00 a.m. crying in her bed. I immediately knew what had happened from the smell that filled our room. I said a quick “thank you” to God that we weren’t sharing a bed, and then went running to the bathroom for towels.

I’m always surprised how well I handle her throwing up, and if I can name only one example of my “motherly” instincts kicking in, it is in these circumstances. In the moment, you know it’s totally gross and by all logic you should be gagging right along with your kid, but that all gets forgotten because your top concern is consoling the child who doesn’t understand what is happening-or in this case, keeps happening.

The rest of the night was spent waking every half hour or so for her to puke into another towel, console her, and put her back to bed. It was a very long night for all of us, including my mother, but man, was I glad she was there. Her “motherly” instincts were kicking in too by washing towels and linens, leaving me free to cuddle the patient.

The drive home was pretty miserable having had no sleep and Edie still not finished puking up everything but her toenails, but we were women without a country, or in this case, a condo, so there was nothing left to do but get in the car and drive home.

It took her about forty-eight hours to fully recover, which really was perfect timing because that was when she decided to pass the baton on to me. I have yet to really shake it completely.

This past week has been the pits, or as Edie likes to call it, the “arm pits”. She actually thinks that’s what this horrible virus is called. I, however, have another name for it, and it’s not near as cute.