Soon after I finally conceded and said “Yes” to homeschooling my kids, questions of doubt began to pop up, and I started thinking of all the experiences I might be denying them from having a “normal” childhood.  I’m convinced from conversations with other homeschooling mothers, that this is a pretty typical response to this decision.

It all started one day when I realized that my kids will never experience School Picture Days.  Edie will never walk into a classroom of perfectly ironed and put-together outfits, only to remember that it’s picture day and she’s wearing a shirt pulled from the dirty clothes pile and spent most of the morning cussing her hair.  Roark will never get to find an old wallet size picture stuck in the back of a forgotten drawer of him in sixth grade with a goofy smile and weird haircut, standing in front of some lame laser backdrop.

I know.  Silly, huh?  It’s not even a good memory that I worry about denying my kids, but for some reason, when I realized they would miss out on that experience, it made me begin to wonder what other experiences they might miss as well.

After all, if Edie weren’t at home this year, she would be sitting at a desk, in a classroom, probably kissing up to some teacher. Instead, she is with me and her brother.  While all the other kids are getting on school buses and carrying trays in a lunch room, we are still living our life like nothing major has changed.

For the most part, I’m okay with that…even excited at times when I think about how I get to be involved in their learning and I don’t have to share to my kids’ time with teachers.  I’ve spent many hours reading books and blogs about the wonderful world of homeschooling, and I’m a fan.  I know it’s the right decision for our family.

However, Edie’s not approaching our time learning at home with the same enthusiasm.   It’s like somehow she has figured out that what we’re doing is different from most people, and I’ve been trying to make her understand how that’s a good thing.  In fact, I took her to get her fingernails and toenails painted one afternoon just to prove that we can do whatever we want while other kids are at the mercy of their school schedules.  That seemed to suffice for now.

I know this is going to be a great experience for us.  I truly believe that, and I’m committed to making it work.  But I’m learning that doesn’t mean it is going to always come easy.  There are going to be moments when I question this decision-to pretend otherwise would be dishonest.   There will be days that I won’t feel up to it, and  I’m sure sometimes that I’ll second guess what God has asked of me and if I really did hear Him right.  But just like the school picture epiphany I had a while back, I think that’s a pretty normal response to homeschooling.

I have no doubt that Edie will find her groove.  And if it requires getting pedicures regularly to keep driving home a point, then so be it.  (Homeschooling doesn’t have to be always be a sacrifice for the the mother, right?) And I hope that after awhile I will no longer think of insignificant experiences like school pictures, and instead be thankful for the memories that this type of schooling has allowed me to create with my children, and that I will be that much more prepared to tackle the next wave of questions when they come.

WARNING:  If you haven’t already bought the Letter Factory DVD by Leap Frog for your toddler, then this video will make you head straight to Amazon.com before you can say “Leap and Lily”.

Several years ago, I had bought the whole Leap Frog DVD series to introduce Edie to reading.  We have about five of  these movies, and I keep them all of them in our van’s DVD changer.  As a rule, I don’t let my kids watch movies in the car unless we’re going to be riding for an extended amount of time, and then when I do turn it on, the DVD has to be educational.  Oh yea, I’m one of those moms.  Not only do I make learning seem like a reward, I make them beg for it.  “Can we pleeeeaaassse watch a movie in the car?  Pleeeeaaassse?”

By the time Edie was two, she knew her ABCs, and this was before I even knew Leap Frog DVDs existed.  She would ask for me to quiz her every night, and not because she’s a genius, but because she has just always been a very motivated child.  In stark contrast to his sister, Roark could barely speak a coherent word as his second birthday was approaching.  And although I had thought it would be really cool to have two motivated kids, I really wasn’t too worried.  I just thought, “It’s a good thing he’s so adorable because he’s not winning any extra points with his smarts.”

Anyway, since Roarkie started riding face-forward in the car, he’s been inundated with Professor Quigley and his shenanigans at the Letter Factory.  I didn’t really think much was sinking in until recently, when out of the blue Roark identified all his letters in his little box of cards, and then not only did he know the letters, he knew the sounds too.  I couldn’t believe it.  It was just like when he decided to start talking.  One day he knew a couple of words, and the next day, he was using full sentences.  Crazy kid.  Now he begs me to quiz him every night as well, and he’s further along than Edie was at this stage in the game.

While Edie was at the beach for Spring Break, we had the rare opportunity to capture some video of Roark. Here’s Roark showing off his stuff from the Letter Factory…along with singing the intro to his favorite show. Enjoy!

There have only been two times in our marriage when Ken and I couldn’t come to an agreement over an issue.  And before you start thinking I must just live in a blissful marriage where it’s sunshine and roses all the time, I’m not talking about deciding between Burger King or Wendy’s for dinner.  I mean, the BIG decisions, as in life changing, and in these times, after hours of discussion, each of us dug in our heels and wouldn’t budge.

So as a result, there have only been two times in our marriage, I’ve had to come before God and ask him to change mine or my husband’s heart.  Roark is proof that God eventually won Ken over on one of the issues, and the fact that I am currently teaching Edie to read is proof that He changed my heart on the other.

From the beginning, Ken has been an advocate for home-schooling.  At first, I was completely against it.   We would have many discussions where I listened to him defend this method of teaching, but in the end, I still had the thought, “It will be a cold day in hell before I home-school our kids.”  Don’t worry though.  I don’t remember actually ever saying that to him because that would have definitely taken the argument to the next level.  I am able to show some restraint in a heated discussion, but between you and me, I definitely remember thinking it a time or two.

I was secretly hoping that eventually he would just come around and see things my way because that’s what marriage is…him compromising for me, right?  But we would never reach a decision, and the issue just hung out there, floating in space with no resolution.

One of the hurdles I had a hard time getting over at the time was that we were talking about children that hadn’t even been born yet.    We were arguing over their schooling, and I didn’t even know their names.  So it was hard for me to even picture what the life of a home-schooling family would look like.  We weren’t even a family ourselves yet.

Well, fast forward about three years when Edie entered our lives, and now home-schooling had a face I could put with the idea.  I slowly felt God beginning to melt my heart.  As I held that sweet baby in my arms, I would cry when I thought about her growing up.  She was only a couple of months old, and she was changing so fast.  I wanted to hold onto that time of our lives forever.  I desperately wanted time to freeze  right there because the thought of her one day being grown and gone was too much to bear.

God’s timing is perfect because it was at this time, a friend recommended a book, So You Are Thinking About Home-Schooling? by Lisa Whelchel.  In this book, fifteen different families discuss their home-schooling experience.  Every chapter is written by a different mother talking about what their home-schooling day looks like and why they chose this for their kids.  Their reasons varied as much as their methods, but there was one mother in particular that really spoke to me.

I don’t remember her name, but I do remember something she said.  I can’t quote it word for word, but the gist of it was “I only get eighteen years to live with these children before they are grown, and I want every minute of it.  If they went to school, they would be gone thirty-five hours a week!  I would be jealous that their teachers get all that time with them and that I would be missing out on those moments.”  That made so much sense to me.

As I read that chapter, I thought, “She’s right!  I want that time with MY child too!  I don’t want to give it to someone else.”  That was the moment God answered my prayer and changed my position on home-schooling.

Over the last four years, I’ve gone from being just okay with the idea of home-schooling to becoming an advocate for it.  To all the teachers out there, in no way do I want to diminish what you do.  I hope and pray that you have a calling to teach young minds and that you do it with a passion.  However, I like the idea that my kids only have to share their teacher’s attention with siblings and not twenty-nine other school children.  I have to believe that a home-schooling education would be better based on that fact alone.  I think any kid would benefit from more one-on-one time with their teacher, and let’s face it, over-crowed schools are a problem in most areas.

Plus, I love the idea that we can teach our kids anyway we want.   Ken and I both see the RV camping becoming a big part of their education and have started to save for one of our own.  If we are learning about George Washington, let’s all go to Mt. Vernon.  If we’ve just studied the Civil War, let’s drive to the different battle sites and stand where those soldiers died.  That’s a lot better than just memorizing some dates, don’t you think?

As I watch the news and hear the different political agendas that are being pushed upon unsuspecting children, I cringe for them.  Just last week four boys were sent home for wearing American flag T-shirts.  My gosh!?!  Kids can’t even wear the flag to school anymore without it being an act of hate?  I don’t understand what’s going on in our school system these days, but I have a peace in knowing that we will not bringing that frustration into our lives or our home.

Now I know what you are thinking, “Your kids won’t get the socialization that they need!”  To which I respond, “Says who?”  My kids will be involved in extracurricular activities, home-school groups, church functions, and in our local community.  We actually will have more time for those types of things because time won’t be wasted in study halls and in-between classes, busy work or waiting on other students to catch up.

I know this is the right decision for our family.  I have seen God working over the past eight years to bring us to this place.  I know I have hinted about it in posts before, but I guess you could say I am officially coming out of the home-schooling closet.  I hate to admit that that’s how I feel sometimes.  When other mothers start asking about where Edie will be attending five-year-old kindergarten, I sheepishly say that she actually won’t be going to kindergarten after next year.  Sometimes, they get a little defensive and start giving reasons why it’s not right for them.  I understand.  I really do.  In fact, I used to be on the same side of that argument when discussing it with my husband, and I don’t judge them for the decision they’ve made.  I just wish that they’d give me the same respect.  Sometimes I want to say to them, “I won’t automatically assume your kids are going to be hoodlums, if you won’t assume mine are going to be social outcasts.  Deal?”  Of course, I don’t really say that, but you’ve got to admit, that would be a great line if I got backed into a corner.