My kids have a new obsession as of late, and although it’s a good habit I should be encouraging, I can’t really seem to get behind it.  Both children go nuts over brushing their teeth.  Now, I know it sounds crazy that I’m not doing a little happy dance over their good oral hygiene, but to tell you the truth, our morning teeth brushing ritual has become one of my least favorite parts of the day.

It all began about a week ago when Edie discovered some of those toothpick flossers in her father’s bathroom drawer.   I was in the bathtub when she came running in.  “Mommy, look what I found,” she says while holding the flosser in the air like it was the Olympic torch or something.

“Um-hum…” not really sharing in her excitement.

“Now I can floss my teeth EVERYDAY!”  She begins rummaging through my bathroom cabinets.  ”Mommy, where’s my wash mouth?” she asks with her head deep under the bathroom sink, flosser still in hand.

“You’re what?”  I ask back, knowing full well that she means to say “mouthwash”, but can’t pass up a chance to hear her say it wrong again.

“My wash mouth!  The blue stuff that shows the sugar bugs on my teeth!” she says frustrated at this point, not understanding why I’m grinning at her from ear to ear.

“Next to my lotion.” And so began the obsession.  Now every morning she brushes, flosses, and rinses.  And then when she’s finished with that, she does it all over again. 

And then after I’ve told her for the fifth time to wrap it up, I have the lovely job of being teeth inspector which involves the biggest, toothiest smile she can possibly smile, and then I ooo and aww over what clean teeth she has. 

Now if this where the only part of the ritual, I would probably be a bit more supportive, but as always, Roarkie has a way of making tasks more difficult.  In that the whole time Edie is cleaning every crevice in her mouth, Roark is trying to push her off the stool to get to the sink because after all, monkey see, monkey do, right? 

And Roark’s idea of brushing his teeth is basically chewing on any toothbrush he can get his hands on and then trying to eat the toothpaste from the tube.  Now he has his own toothbrush, and even though I have repeatedly told him that it’s nasty to use someone else’s, he doesn’t really seem to care.

So while I’m trying to get ready and put my make-up on, Edie’s yelling at Roark to give her back her toothbrush, and Roark is fussing at Edie because he can’t reach the water.  Then Edie pushes him off the stool, and he cries and takes off running with the toothpaste.  It’s fifteen minutes of complete chaos in a five by five space, and ends with me swearing that I’m going to lose it if they don’t get out of the bathroom!

I guess I’m suppose to look on the bright side of things, and that’s that my children want to brush their teeth. And truthfully, this really is quite timely since I absentmindedly canceled our dental insurance about two months ago and can’t reapply until next January.  I guess that’s the real kicker here.  I can’t very well discourage them to stop brushing, now can I?  Then what kind of mother would I be?!

So I guess in the mean time, I will just have to grin and bear it.  Now if only I could find someone to inspect my smile and ooo and aww at how good my teeth look, that might be a little easier to do.